How to introduce bondage to a relationship

The Fifty Shades of Grey and Darker Effect

The 50 Shades of Grey series of books and films have upended ideas about sex and relationships and have allowed women and men to talk openly about their most hidden desires. The erotic trilogy has been intensely liberating for many people, where the dark, private life of the bedroom has been opened up to people who then decide that they want to unleash their inner Anastasia or Christian. It is not defined to one gender or sexual orientation, and lets women and men think about and explore the idea of desire and control. Sales of S&M sex toys have gone through the roof as couples and individuals have decided to explore their bodies with BDSM adult toys. Women and men want to feel desired, but now they are admitting that sometimes they want to be taken.

This trend of sexually charged films and books influencing how people behave in bed can be seen as far back as in films like ‘Nine and a ½ Weeks’ in the 1980s and the infamous ‘Story of O’ in the 1950s as well as earlier work by the Marquis de Sade. The 50 Shades books and films are just the latest wave in art, which focuses on domination and bondage, and so far have sold well over 65m books across the globe. And people are not shy about showing that they enjoy reading erotic fiction, sales of the various BDSM sex toys that the characters use in their kinky games have grown hugely, with many women and men keen to try everything from light bondage to riding crops and handcuffs.

Surveys by women’s magazines including a ‘Women’s Health’ report on BDSM saw many men, women and non binary people stating that they had started to introduce elements of kink and bondage to the bedroom. Some couples saw sex toys as being an essential part of their sexual lives together. Many respondents confessed to making their own X rated films, which allowed them to be open about their secret desires with their sexual partners. An NHS study found that people who had a bit of kink in their lives reported better mental health, which reaffirms the idea that being open about your sexual desires is good for every aspect of your life. So, if you are one of the people who wants to introduce bondage play into the bedroom, and are unsure of where to start, or you want to explore BDSM more, Love Direct can help you.

Where to Start When you want to Explore BDSM with a Partner

The first and most important thing to do is to start a dialogue with your partner. Be open and loving with each other, and open up about things that you would love to try out with them. Don’t pressurise them to try things out, just remind them that you think they are gorgeous, sexual creatures, and that you feel that it would be fun to explore a bit of kink with them. Ask your partner if they have any fantasies that they would love to come true, and then talk about how you can help them achieve their secret desire. An easy way to start is by looking at BDSM sex toys, such as Love Direct’s 50 Shades of Grey range of quality S&M inspired adult playthings.

BDSM Sex Toys for Beginners

A vibrator is a good way to start, as women and men can use it, and is easy to control. Whether it is a small, handbag sized bullet vibrator or a rabbit style vibe with added clitoral stimulators, our 50 Shades of Grey sex toys range has something to suit everyone. Maybe you want to explore anal play either together or on your own, we have a great range of anal sex toys, from a stainless steel plug, which can be used anally or vaginally to tease the nerve endings, leading to more explosive sex and orgasms. To make things easier, Love Direct offers a couples S&M kit, this sexy set for partners has a variety of essential BDSM toys including silken rope, a blindfold, bondage tape, as well as a butt plug, vibrator and cock ring. Additionally the kit includes a mini paddle so you can tease each other’s bottom with playful thwacks. This kit is perfect for open-minded weekends away, where the phone is switched off all weekend. With this adult sex collection, we can pretty much guarantee a good time.

If dressing up is part of your fantasy then a mask is a great way to start, or try wearing sexy lingerie that makes you feel great, with the added benefit of your partner looking at you as though you are a goddess of erotica. If you want to take kink to the next level, how about a leather corset with a strap on dildo, you will feel amazing and your partner will reach new levels of erotic delight.

If the pain/pleasure principal is more your thing, then a riding crop is the perfect BDSM sex toy for you, whether you want to be whipped, or you desire nothing more than to put a riding crop across your partner’s bottom. If you or your partner want to explore pain but are a little squeamish then the Please Sir flogger is a gentler way to play with erotic pain. Love Direct also stocks a variety of nipple clamps, which can be used on both men and women, and can be used for a short time, or for longer, to really increase sensitivity to the nipples. We offer a variety of handcuffs, ropes and even bondage kits that offer a great way to start of your exploration into the world of BDSM.

Whichever way you want to play with the concept of BDSM, whether that is to experiment slowly with a sex toy, or to jump in with a complete S&M kit, be honest and open with your partner, ask how they are feeling and respect their wishes. Welcome to the world of BDSM at Love Direct: the home of kink.